Parents – Did You Send Yourself To Your Room Tonight?

It is so hard to watch our kids fail at something. During this COVID-19 pandemic, every parent has become a Homeschooling Teacher. I wanted to helicopter parent and swoop in and rescue my kids, by pushing them to success in all areas, do the extra credit that they do not care about, push, push, push! What was I doing?!?! Being anxious for what reason on this earth! They have a habit of waiting until the last minute, but they follow through with all their work in front of them, for this I am grateful. But I was expecting and wanting more for them then they wanted for themselves. MISTAKE 101 with anyone! UGH!

I was pondering this question as I paused in my haste to FIX what I thought was broken:

“How far am I willing to allow my child to fail?” 

“What do I want for them that they do not want for themselves?”

All this time at home, has made me put my hands in things too far as if it is mine. (chuckle) IT IS ALL MINE! Okay that is cabin fever or just mother madness speaking.

I got caught in a whirlwind of trying to control everything myself asking where I went wrong but then God reminded me of this –

“You have put everything He has given you (love, wisdom, your experiences, guidance, direction, good sound advice, security, did I mention LOVE) into your children, that’s why He chose you to raise them, for you to be their mom/dad; it’s up to them to chose to follow what you have sewn into them or not. It’s up to them to make the decisions now as they grow into young adults.” 

God reminded me to let them fail while they are still at home and I can be there to help pick up the pieces, navigate crisis, deal with disappointment from their own actions; because one day they will be out there and have failures on their own, and if they do not learn how to work through them now with YOU by their side, it will be very hard for them later to manage and come out successful.

You are a good parent, you are not failing, if you are loving them, listening to them, guiding them along life, whether they listen to your advice or not – You have won the BEST PARENT AWARD.

Do not take their actions as your own successes or failures. Do not own that! They are learning to make their own decisions, let them succeed and fail while at home – then offer your love and support to help them remain humble or get off the ground and dust off their bum. You are doing your part and are good at it; know when to let them be an individual and responsible for themselves.

This is success, no one said parenting would feel lonely at times, but letting them grow is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life – 3 teenagers! I sent myself to my room the other night because I owned their decisions and was pouting up a storm.

I bucked up, stopped crying, came out of my room, and said to all of them:

“I am not going anywhere, my sweet darlings; I trust you to make the best decisions from what you have learned from me. I’ll be here if you need me always, I will not judge you, but help you navigate successfully through whatever you find yourself in or wherever you need guidance to walk.”

I got to tell ya, letting go of what is not mine, I feel free! I am doing the BEST I can as a mom. I know it! Just remember we are all going through these emotional times, compounded by the pandemic, together! Please share your stories in the comments.

Let support one another; allow them to fail under your roof, give sound advice, this is the time they are learning the MOST about growing up. Simply LOVE them through it all.