TRUTH: Time Does Not Heal, But Love Does

Truth, Time Does Not Heal, But LOVE Does

In the face of disappointment…….

Life is full of ups and downs, in and out, over and under; it is a roller coaster ride to say the least. There are days that I have tiptoed through the tulips or was walking on air. Those days that feel like Spring or Summer and we can see the newness coming forth as the world blooms in fragrance and beauty and the warmth of the sun is on our face. Oh joy!

BUT there have also been days I was walking in the valley, in the darkness, afraid to move forward. Frozen by disappointment and unbelief of betrayal. Loss of a loved one that stopped me in my tracks. These days feel like Fall or Winter and things are dying and being frozen in time, cold, isolated, void of color or fragrance. Lonely.

Don’t get me wrong I love Fall and Winter, but not as a season of life.

However, how do we get through these difficult seasons of loss, in the face of disappointment?

Have you been with a friend or family member that says,

“It will get better with time” or “Time heals all wounds”

Sounds good doesn’t it? But the truth is, that is not true. At least not for everyone.

My baby passed away

My husband left me

My body was abused

My grams died

My heart was broken

These things really get better or worst with time, only WE chose to move forward when we are ready. It could take ONE day or a LIFETIME to give grief it’s walking papers.

REVELATION TIME! I do know that LOVE from a friend, in the form of support by listening, encouragement by words, comforting by touch, all start the process of healing. These allow us to feel, express the pain by tears (they do heal), and the BIGGEST PART OF HEALING comes from being understood and justified in our pain.

Think about it…….

Sometimes, that is all it takes is NOTHING ELSE but one person the “gets it” OR has been there and is listening.

Even Job in the Bible, his friends seen him in the distance as they were coming to be with him and they tore their clothes in anguish of seeing him in pain while still moving towards him. They sat will him in silence for days, just to be with him in his sorrow until he was ready to talk………

There is healing when we’re together, loving one another in many forms.

KNOW how valuable your broken heart WAS, IS, and WILL BE. Think of it like this, people who survive the Coronavirus are more valuable to help others just beginning to get symptoms. They are asked how did you survive?

NOW, you have walked through divorce, betrayed, or lost a child; how did you survive?

Time? no. A form of LOVE from others? It is what gets us by another day.

When I went through losing my baby, there was other mothers and fathers who reached out in email or facebook that shared their journey to healing (because I was NOT ready to talk), I even received a card and still do every year during the week of my devastation from “Tiny Purpose” that they are remembering my little one with me when they entered Heaven.

Being understood and having my feelings validated, vindicated, & justified by others – WOW. I have learned to tell myself and others…..

“It’s okay to not be okay right now, I understand, I love you.”

The hurt is still there, injustice is still there, but I was able to move forward and tell grief to get out of my car, my head, my home, I was not stuck anymore.

There are so many disappointments in life, it is okay to not be okay for a while, but allow healing to come to your heart, your mind; allow someone in to hear you, to understand you, to love you through this. Give a little away by sharing your story, the load will become lighter and you will see the season of Spring bring you fresh flowers.

And remember…….You are the one who understand who will help others heal.